hm

feeling weird, eating graze, talking about the price on frued on facebook.
emptied my inbox of unread mail for the first time sine 2006, some interesting discoveries.
sometimes people in groups make me shy or nervous or angry; i'm getting angry a lot more recently. student health think my drinking is dangerous but i've replaced it with more exciting and less gross options. drinking gives me a headache and makes me feel younger and doesnt gel with my cynicism.
definitely too cold in this room when the heater hasn't been on.

people are so.....difficult. I don't know what I want but some nights feel so full and amazing, and others i just feel jealous and quiet and bored and unsettled.
its only a few i really always have something good to say to, and its not always who i expect it to be. the latest is really brilliant, but i have to be careful not to alienate others for them, which i do systematically. it becomes like small intermitting obsessions where i focus on one at a time until i know who i can add to my list of comfortable and thrilling people, while others arent necessarily right, espeically in combinations.