Pre-Chewed Pencil

higher

2011-11-22T03:51:00.002Z

Do I only write in the summer? And occasional milestones I suppose. Now i'm somewhere entirely different it's nice to read back over the words written from my more pink (but assuredly purple) room; not these anaemic pathetically green walls. Of course I have an essay due, of course it's past 3 in the morning and I've only done a paragraph of bullshit because the deadline isn't really tomorrow and this will have been largely detrimental unless I sleep all day (miss lecture) and work again all tomorrow night. Might have to. Things are largely different (there are no oyster cards) but lots of things are largely and tediously the same. Girls, boys, north london, west london or wales pretty much all that's happened is a formality of hair colour and tenuous exciting new things to discover, complicated groups to manouvre through and FOMO. Coffee induced insomnia, greys anatomy (and new fans to share it with), essays where 60% is the perfect score, goats cheese cafes, surprisingly little obvious sex. gossip and bitching and tv and drinking innapropriately and security and bridges and real life not a holiday but only 6 hours in university.
trains and tickets and making a cup of tea is a trek (i need a kettle) and can't wait for a house but god knows who's going to be in it. lost and found and people i agree with and people i like and lots and lots of neither... freshers isn't as exciting as you might imagine, i wonder what this would have looked like in the first week? This week I'm writing about the american dream and reading my last duchess, so really it's gsces.

she's gone

2011-07-06T17:05:00.003+01:00

92 is very old, and it wasn't drawn out, unless you count the last 5 years of frailty, but its sad and I might have to miss whatever happens as a funeral. or complicated flights and confused feelings either way.
I hope my brothers are alright, they were a lot closer. The family is getting younger (babies yay) but my parents being the oldest members bothers me. I am scared.

f

2011-06-13T00:59:00.002+01:00

one awful exam and i'm all up in my head doubting everything i know and watching the oc again and i feel like i've already given up. i really want to just get on with everything, i dont want to do applying again or school again and because i *cant* let myself do things properly and hide all the time and flake out and give in and give up i'm going to be going round in ever diminishing cirlces depriving myself of whatever i really want.

summary

2011-06-03T02:26:00.003+01:00

While my tumblr (this week) will tell you I like belle and sebastian, hilarious film stills and people with my name, I like to think I save the important stuff for here (and my [vast] readership that always takes me by surprise). So, here is what I told Bristol about myself in accomodation booking. I hope I get into Goldney, but if they assess that it wont suit my character, at least I was honest.

When I’m not reading, I like night life, drink often and socially smoke occasionally. I am looking forward to meeting new people and have a long term boyfriend. I love cycling, cities and music festivals; I am going to Glastonbury this summer. I’m generally very easy going and happy to be left to my own devices. Coming from an extremely mixed school I'd feel most comfortable in a similar cosmopolitan and friendly atmosphere. I use the internet a lot and care about food. Also enjoy arguing about politics as a socialist-atheist.

i left out the bit where I write angry open letters to people who piss me off.

Dinner

2011-06-03T02:21:00.002+01:00

Ally McBeal is on a date with a guy who eats grossly despite seeming perfect so far. Up until that moment I was thinking how perfect is the concept of dinner date. It's food and the possibility of sex.
FOOD
CONVERSATION
FLIRTING
Seriously, I really love food. I think this would make me a good traditional 90s "dater" because as long as the food was good (and I would pick the restaurants), I would be happy regardless of the guy. Its perfect. Not like prostitution, because it is meant to be a sort of sniffing out the possibility of future relationships, not just .. the "free dinner" thing.
ANYWAY I love jim.

Anger leads to hate leads to the dark side

2011-05-22T02:50:00.004+01:00

Dear X

After two years of teaching you really ought to have my email address by now. This being the case, your reason for emailing my mother on a saturday evening was not to pass on any work I may have missed, but to attempt to prove to her that I am as bad a student as you are teacher. Pathetic. Any work I may or may not *owe* mr y is between me and mr y, who incidentallyis doing a fantastic job of teaching your unit mainly through being entirely relaxed, kind and helpful about it. Exam time is extremely difficult but my main problem is not with learning material, but from stress which is boosted exponentially through any contact I have with you. My essays for you are bad because they are for you. It is a ridiculous self-destructive pyschological defect, but when you demand work from me it makes me hugely reluctant to produce it. If it was for myself (which I must constantly remind myself it is) I would be more than happy to try my best. This would also be if I had any faith in your marking. You are a hypocrite who has spent the entire year being overdue with work. You ignore me, look confused and act defensive NO MATTER WHAT I say to you. This is not an inspiring atmosphere of learning. You are imensely proud of yourself for reading anything to do with the topic which is disconcerting. I find you irritating more than I have found anyone irritating and it is the worst possible luck that I must use you in order to get into university for christs sake. If I don't get an A I will be blaming you, as last year yours was the only written exam in which I have ever got less than A. I understand this is a lot of pressure on you and acting out in this overly involved way is your response to stress but I would really, really appreciate some motherfucking space.

Fuck you.

scottish

2011-05-17T18:48:00.000+01:00

To-morrow, and to-morrow, and to-morrow,
Creeps in this petty pace from day to day,
To the last syllable of recorded time;
And all our yesterdays have lighted fools
The way to dusty death. Out, out, brief candle!
Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player,
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage,
And then is heard no more. It is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing.

single bed

2011-05-05T14:59:00.003+01:00

Dreams still as vivid, though last night I couldn't sleep for over thinking the need for a hole punch. A night or two ago I dreamt I stole a dishwasher.

Core

2011-05-01T23:29:00.003+01:00

Core 2 isn't *working* for me (for the third time). I just make mistake after mistake while understanding everything perfectly - I just shoot myself in the foot almost every question. A bit violent for maths.
Went out last night woooo. walked home in daylight, hardly ever do that. its still exciting for me, whlie for jim it was more annoying and commonplace. Nearly didn't make it out of the house - even boys have stroppy off days with their friends (this however can usually be fixed with beer).
Learnt to roll a joint. Useful life skill I suppose, but the drunk & selfish wouldn't let me practice enough. worrying threads of gossipy spidersweb threatening to collapse around several ears.
I should probably stop.

The after party we arrived in time was was interestingly in the basement of a record shop that smelt like a swimming pool and was filled only with people i know or should know. dress was too short and tight but sparkly enough.

Leaving on a jet plane

2011-04-30T01:59:00.006+01:00

Not on a jet plane, but leaving a lot. Right now I am missing a party for new reasons. I was free from the perfect arrival time, I don't have work due for tomorrow, I wasn't invited but the people I usually go to parties with are there so I wouldn't be out of place. I'm not ill (touch wood, I'm always ill). Nope, I just didn't *have* to go. I can stay in and tweet about House and nothing bad will happen. The people I'm not spending tonight with won't form new alliances and best friendships and in jokes that will make me feel left out or lonely or have repercussions for years to come because school, where these things matter (sometimes to me, not inherantly) is nearly over for good. I'm having stress dreams not about the people I'll never see again but about my future and not doing what I'm capable of. It's not that staying in makes me work a lot, but its something like working is the stable thing that isn't going to change next year, and its comforting, unattainable and frustrating - all the things I like in the people with which I tend to form flirtatious attachments. I wasn't doing nothing tonight; I was drinking wine and chatting and laughing with two people. I only want small groups at the moment, to keep close to people personally, not vaguely mingle with acquaintances - that's what next year's for. I think I'll make a list of all the things I didn't do in secondary school (so tempting to say "high") and those I just did in the last few months. I'm in my own head a lot in certain groups, but I don't mind. Nothing is making me unhappy, nothing sad. I'm not even panicking or nostalgic. It's a kind of numbness and deja vu. Loose ends are being tied up; everything else has already happened. It's been 7 years, there are bound to be repeats. I'm probably avoiding thinking about the biggest things, the question I am repeatedly asked and am asuredly in denial about but that'll be ok until it's not. This is the strangest limbo time. Interrailling to look forward to, glastonbury, and long periods of concentration and House episodes before that. Maybe I'm just being selfish. I still feel as affectionate towards everyone and it's strangely satisfying to know where everyone is (creepy) I'm just not feeling... fake.

my god I'm sorry for anyone still RSS'd to this

NYE (said phonetically because I have a cold so everyhting I say sounds like nye)

2010-12-31T16:53:00.003Z

1) Do not drink too much, lose twenty quid in a washing machine and have to be dragged home by long suffering friend and possibly tripping boyfriend, who in turn should not wander into the road
2)Do not over-dress, find nowhere to go and end up alone in your kitchen with a bottle of proseco and a feather boa singing hoarsley to destiny's child.
3)Do not fall asleep before midnight
4)Do not fall asleep before you go out
5)Do not forget the people that made 2010 amazing and stear clear of stripper poles

HAPPY 2011 BITCHES
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Summer Break

2010-08-28T18:13:00.003+01:00

Should I go out later or just crash out? Neither option particularly excites me, I should probably save my strength for carnival and I am so tired.
This week has been good. Some mild drama in the begining which is always a good start and an insanely fun gathering in the church. Then copious drinking, recovering, drinking, recovering has left my mind in a rather mulchy, dreamlike state which I hope isn't permenant. I've been quite the social butterfly.
I cured myself of waking up too early, as always just before school restarts. The month of birthdays is about to be upon us so more parties and more money spent on presents. It also means mine is in the foreseable future. Foreseable! It can be seen!
I've been learning to stop comparing this summer to last and to keep out of my head. I think they are going well, especially as Maddy is back fom America and that's what she's for.
Yesterday was CharSpee's. Played eyes. Drank a bottle of wine and ate some bagels. And earlier we made a curry. Well, he did and I chopped the garlic and bought the naan.

Feet tired already and it's not even carnival day.

Blister in the Sun

2010-07-03T16:51:00.005+01:00

http://tumblr.com/xwecnwrzx - Nouvelle Vague who were INSANELY GOOD at Glasto, and extremely sexy. Like last time. Everyone were good; got a couple of songs of mgmt, gang of four and hot chip, and the whole show scissor sisters was so much fun. Gorillaz crowd amazingly entertaining. nighttime atmosphere perfect. Not being great with adjectives at the moment but the basic sentiment is I WANT TO BE BACK. London is making me feel dull.

Dominic Self (king of blogs) chastised me the other day for neglecting this in favour of tumblr, so here is a catch up post. Went to cambridge yesterday eventually after train battles and got a tour round kings with a lovely shy history of art student. Kings just makes me smile everytime I'm near it, like in glastonbury where I must have looked pilled up every minute (I wasn't, at all). Clare does also seem lovely though, and i liked what they said about english a lot. But I think my heart is set on kings for some reason. Probably the kayaks. trinity hall was also beautiful and got a look in before we headed back for the longest and slowest train ride since trying to get home from Florence in 36 degree heat.
So so tired once I got back; james cheered me up with dinner and a drink then went to have a night out with the rest of the world while I got a train back home (from queens park so into and out of london but I'd already spent so long on trains another half hour seemed worth it to avoid crashing my bike) so now I'm too well rested; while hangovers are slept off, I am eating and dancing alone to chase and status and nouvelle vague and netsky. Going to read enduring love in a minute so at least I can feel productive.

Not sure when I last blogged but breif run down so I remember this summer better than the last.
Last weekend Glasto of course after a week of "progressing" which I've forgotten entirely. Oh Saturday was a year anniversary, Maddys 16th and the day High Contrast smiled at me.
Tuesday night - a boiling LSE room gathering, bought a tasty kebab and got kicked out of tescos.
Wednesday - bunked off and ad breakfast with J then waitressed very thoroughly at the graduation, crashed out at alices and saw alexs new hair and phone in a sleepy drunken state.
thursday - an actual school lesson reading much ado about nothing then James's to watch a very odd film about the 80s with Macaulay Culkin then left early friday morn for the cambridge trek.

This was very diary/planner like but at least it wasn't on tumblr. And it's all been very very hot.

Park Mark Two

2010-06-06T01:11:00.003+01:00

Spent most of today working in queens park (let this be a record that I did at least revise once for my as levels) first with Marion and Felix vaguely doing english, then post lunch, alone reading the history text book and finishing a soul of man under socialism. And 4 mechanics questions this morn'. Nice surprise, was then joined by James, who I had been missing, before I handed him over for a night of guy things (sometimes they need to be let out) while I cycled back for the Foord's barbeque. Delicious and perfect amount of wine but weirdly ended up watching lady gaga videos for the second time this week. Didn't make it to Sams, which I'll probably regret but right now very happy and about to sleep. Being the last weekend of slavedom, it'll be nice to have a noticable change post exams where I will not be declining any invitiations, be they in london bridge or further afield or on school nights or whatevers.

Night Biking

2010-06-04T22:58:00.002+01:00

I've been neglecting this probably because there is less I want to say to nothingness/ a select few and have become more exhibitionist.

Went cycling around Gladstone park tonight for about 45 minutes so I'd done some excercise, and because I enjoy it, and because I have more time where I'm suposed to be doing things other than seeing James, and because I ate lots of little chocolate cornflake cake things this afternoon. And last year when I used to do this (and the year before? Can't remember but my legs were really toned back then) I would start automatically drafted blog posts in my head. This time I started drafting a tumblr post, then felt bad about this one and thought it would be more appropriate anyway (as I'm rambling).

I do it like a computer game - avoid the dogs and the joggers, try not to look creepy around the dates and pretend I can't see the drug deals. Big groups of people cause bigger detours. Don't stop, don't change song (what the fuck "meat is murder" was doing on my ipod I will never know) and don't come home till its completely dark and I'm tired enough. Also if I've been in my room all day I'll need to stay out till the headache is gone. Hopefully I'm right about not being really stabbing material, as there isn't anything on me someone would want, they'd have to hide a body AND bike (hide the body then sell the bike? very complicated) and I can probably cycle faster than most wannabe-knife-crimers can run.
I'm also hoping if I ever manage to do this somewhere near regularly I'll be more established. This is MY park. Which it is anyway, but not quite enough yet. Not so that anyone would notice. That was a little morbid, sorry.

Not long till AS's are over, my future is written etcetera etcetera. Prospectus(es) also why I wanted to cycle. There is too much futuer (freudian typo? I did it twice- tuer = to kill in french - really morbid, eek) filling up my head and blocking anything worthwhile. Where to go what to do who will still know me love me what do I really want what can I do realistically. And right now, will I go out on Saturday night?

argh,

2010-05-31T12:43:00.001+01:00

ARGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Sunshine sunshine it's fine

2010-05-23T20:41:00.005+01:00

Far, far too relaxed for having an exam tomorrow afternoon.
Reading Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal all day and eating near the sun.

Hopefully tomorrow will be fine. And I'll be 2/9ths through my AS exams.

Hope I haven't got sun stroke.

Can we ask for therapists for christmas? (m.foord)

2010-05-09T23:47:00.005+01:00

Remembering a lot, probably because of In Treatment.
Posted an episode from the summer to my tumblr, which was going to be for songs/reblogs/photos/quotes. This duo-blogging thing is rather tricky.
Anyway, my nostalgia and reminicsing is pretty high at the moment; not as an escape from the present which I'm also happy with, just as a nice addition to my mind. But I'm sure it can't interest anyone else. Might be fun to have it analysed. Memory is really vivid in places, I don't want to lose that. Hence some of the writing down.

Here is summer issue part something, with a pretty picture

Of course it's all just procrastination and a false assurance that everything can turn out well grades wise, when in fact I spent most of last year revising instead of blogging. Last night I tried to find someone that disapeared from my primary school, a teacher. One of those people that you'll remember forever because they shaped something about you, and I wanted to know if he is still alive.

Friendship

2010-05-08T16:18:00.004+01:00

Not politics (well I'll try) because quite frankly there is enough of that on Twitter.

I'm glad my best friend lives in Brighton not just because of Caroline Lucas, or that it seems to be the done thing in QP - hi Moya - but because when we get to that point, this year, next year or the one after, when my safety blanket of lovely people I spend everyday with bugger off to far flung corners of the country/world/universe, I know I can deal with it. It'll even be levelling the playing field a bit, like I just started early with cross-country friendships, Rebecca wont be a missing piece anymore. It won't just be Brighton friend, but friends in London, Liverpool, Manchester, Cal Arts, Paris, teaching english in latin america, being arrested in thailand, eloping with an astronaut.. I have high hopes for you all. I know we wont lose each other; we'll just add, adapt and stay in touch.

Regardless of who you vote for.

Bleh

2010-05-03T14:52:00.001+01:00

Don't vote Conservative please.
That will be all.

Recently

2010-04-21T17:47:00.004+01:00

I have read probably all of coketalk and lots of Dear Coke Talk which Rebecca kindly emailed to me.
I finished Trainspotting. I liked. Then I read George Orwell talk about tea. I could go into the similiarities and differences, but I'll save that for when I have to choose between PG Tips and jacking up.

Drug theme aside, I went to the German Segals for probably the best time I've had there, if not ever, since going away alone was a novelty. And I spent some time in Cambridge listening to fascinating lectures, trying to decide what to do with my future and falling in love with the town.

Felix's had a lovely atmosphere, and was followed by the perfect weekend. As wonderful as my trips were, coming home is better.

So, judging by my choise of words, things are going pretty fine if not a little unoriginally.
Exams looming, obvs, but I read last years posts and I moaned about that enough back then. Just assume I'm actually panicking deep down.

Easter rises again

2010-04-05T02:50:00.007+01:00

I'm writing this because I just had to search Google to find out what I did last year - Peggle of course! - and cannot for the life of me remember easters before those (except the coming back from Mexico one where I was extremely ill and easter first seemed a bit shit). So I thought I'd help next year me.

This morning was lovely, woken up by eggs in a La Senza bag then read some George Bernard Shaw plays, then Maddy and I went for a very short walk to Gladstone park, then it seemed to be evening when I went to watch Speech and Marion gorge on Indian food and watched Pretty Woman for the first time.

For some reason when I got back I felt incredibly sad and have been trying to stop myself crying for a while (its died down now). This happens sometimes - the last was Christmas day i think - and is completely random, unless I feel a special affinity with Jesus. I always find a million reasons for feeling down (not being with family, not being with boyfriend, not being with friends, being with a combination of the above, not having one/any of the above, something happened this time last year/year before/when I was 6 my golfish died) but actually I think I'm sad just because, and thinking about reasons why is just a symptom. Its gets to the stage where I can laugh at myself - My hair isn't nice anymore!- and an episode of greys anatomy and then I can stop.
Also I might be getting illl and I'm going away next week. Feeling delicate and homely.
I hate being a girl.

Alices wonderland 18th was wonderful. Last weekend was SO GOOD actually and Graces was really lovely - felt good to be "bringer of good music" for once as well.

Oh and I really love reading again. Wasn't that impressed with 1984 last summer, but George Orwell has completely redeemed his writing style in my opinion- cannot put down his essay books. Much <3 for the Orwell.

MegaBlogOut

Inevitabilty

2010-03-02T23:42:00.006Z

Saturday was my mothers birthday party. As I described it, free booze and bad music (whether this means the youtube playing in my room, or the "Bus Pass Blues Band" downstairs is up to interpretation). Lovely mix of too many lovely people, which gave my brothers a chance to properly meet my friends (if breifly) something I've always really wanted. Kind of closing the gap of age/distance of the people most important to me.Germans came and germans left, but I did get a kiss from little Lia and plans to visit (for hardkore work and childkare) at easter.
Party managed to make it through till 5 as some did shifts of staying awake/asleep and leaving/turning up with lots of eating and drinking throughout. Very Very Very sorry to those who didn't necessarily get to sleep or got woken up. I owe you a drink or three.Although how two people ended up getting kicked out of my parents bed in the early morning, I am yet to understand.

I love the slits

2010-02-19T15:00:00.000Z

I knew you were sitting in your room all alone
I knew I was the only girl for you
You have told me so
But somehow it slipped my mind
Whilst walking home
Whilst you were sulking I could have been raped
In Ladbroke Grove
Well you can take your records back
And take your comics too
I'm going to have some fun tonight
Life with or without you

So I spend an evening
Without getting my face cut
And another evening
Without getting run over
Again another evening without falling in love
So I listen to the radio
Smoke a cigarette
Same old thing, yeah I know
Everybody does it

Smell

2010-02-18T00:38:00.002Z

One of my favourites.

Aloe Vera

2010-02-17T20:51:00.003Z

Tricky - Hell is Around the Corner

Just had THE most relaxing bubble bath listening to that.

(it's in Skins series one if you are wondering why it sounds familiar )

--'-@

2010-02-15T11:18:00.003Z

I cooked! Was tasty. Happy Amber.

If it wasn't for date rape, I'd never get laid

2010-02-12T14:45:00.001Z

A Sublime morning.

Wrong Way
Date Rape

Cheered me right up.

Kermode-a-Lovin'

2010-02-12T01:04:00.005Z

Anakin - Why are you so beautiful?
Padme - Beacause I love you.
Anakin -No, I love you.
Revenge of the Sith; a scripting masterpeice.

Listening to shuffle today and one of my favourite rants of all time came up between Regina Spektor and Super Freak.

!Hear some of it here!

"Attack of the clones was better than Phantom Menace, but then so is slamming your hand in the car door."

There's a small section of it anyway. Got me through Topshop.
:D

Helz

2010-02-10T16:53:00.001Z

I love her
http://www.guardian.co.uk/film/gallery/2010/feb/06/helena-bonham-carter-photographs

Rolling

2010-02-10T16:37:00.004Z

Thought I'd better post as much as I can while I'm in this rambly bloggy kind of mood.
Lots of decision making (impossible) and some made for me (worse). Not good for Amber's little mind. Sleeping later during the week than at weekends; for no reason except that I can't stop thinking (and yesterday the delicious tiny coffee from the cafe next to the station), making me a zombie all day, and I wake up going over the same negligable things that only bother me because its between 1 and 11am, when my mind doesn't really function. Was up ridiculously early but still to late for school and while angry cycling in the freezing cold is bad for me, it's probably worse for the poor drivers I slalem in front of.

Now French tutorial and management crap tomorrow, then I'm free.
Happy birthday Lia :D

All you need is cake,

2010-02-10T00:52:00.000Z

From http://prettyfoods.tumblr.com/page/2

No particular place to go

2010-02-08T22:34:00.007Z

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GEQpipS_qfc

FUCKING firefox doesn't like my new windows 7 ( I was linux for a bit, was fun feeling supieror) and just crashed thus eating my blog post.
Keep listening to that ^ today, it makes me happy. Also all the music I put on my phone (!!). The fact that I can do this excites me ridiculously after 4 years of a phone that, well, can't do an awful lot.

I should be writing about Weimar but I have done history homework more recently than I've blogged so this is only fair really.

So, blog, all is good. Really good. Which might explain the lack of angsty posts (either that or the fact that I now tweet rather exessively). I made a sandwich today, it was pretty much the highlight:

http://twitpic.com/12326x

In other news, I had a nap today in front of confessions of a dangerous mind despite normally not being able to nap, I have a french tutorial I am terrefied of on Wednesday and I'm seeing James tomorrow.

:) That will be all.

Party

2009-10-18T23:22:00.002+01:00

Began a lovely blur, became an unpleasant blur, became losing my laptop.

Other birthday celebrations perfect :)

Blogging Fever

2009-09-30T23:16:00.002+01:00

And actual fever, somehow manage to be ill again. Is this year going to be one long cold/flu interspersed with the odd week of health just to trick me back into trusting my immune system?
Had to leave school after the first of 5 maths lessons. Felt bad about it but really wouldn't've got anything out of normal maths and will just have to catch up the further stuff. Spent the day very productively watching Come Dine With Me and sleeping.

Room going to rearrange to make way for a new (proper!) bed that I'm going to choose tomorrow. Never had an actual bed bed before, I've had mattress on floor, bunk beds and the last few years a futon which I am somewhat attatched to. Will be strange having somewhere in the room for sleeping. Not spending all day working/sitting/computing on. Its less like being in bed all day when its a futon somehow. Ahh well, hopefully it will fit in the room still - just have to sacrifice some of my lovely floor.

17 in one week! Doesn't seem that exciting as I've been spending the majority of my free time with. Summer was too good to blog about.

Out of tissues. Fuck.

ill

2009-09-08T12:01:00.002+01:00

Using only song names from ONE ARTIST, cleverly answer these questions. Pass it on to people and include me. You can't use the band I used. Try not to repeat a song title. It's a lot harder than you think! Repost as "my life according to (band name)"

Pick your Artist: pixies

Describe yourself: Where is my mind?

How do you feel: I've been tired.

Describe where you currently live: isla de encanta

If you could go anywhere, where would you go: down to the well

Describe the opposite sex: here comes your man

Your favorite form of transportation: Levitate me

Your best friend is: gigantic - hahaha

What's the weather like: silver

Favorite time of day: Holiday Song

If your life were a TV show, what would it be called:Monkey gone to heaven

What is life to you: Oh my Golly!

Your fear: There goes my gun

What is the best advice you have to give: Vamos

Thought for the day: Brick is Red

How I would like to die: Cactus

My motto: La La love you

Finito

2009-06-26T12:47:00.002+01:00

No more exams! Nothing to do with myself though now etons cancelled, camping is postponed (maybe :S). I'm confused.

Maddy is away, which is a shame because I couldve just celebrated her birthday this weekend.
Do not what to do with this freedom. Just tidying at the moment, and watching The Office on a loop.

Not feeling very creative, or sociable.
Its a little empty.

Gladstonebury

2009-06-21T20:51:00.002+01:00

I want to go to Glastonbury so much its ridiculous. I knew this would happen when i nearly tried to book a ticket. Gah.

Foords was good, Andy Smarts was good, then the Foords was good again - watching sunrise (behind clouds) at 5am around a bonfire. Need to kick the D.T. habit though, its not particularly attractive. Laterns and fireworks very pretty, my hidden plate of food delishious and I am in charge of the worst of the videos. Success :)

Gladstone Park festival thingy today. Exciting having Sarah and Alex turn up in my garden then sat by some "interesting" music with disgusting hot dogs. Maddy and I stayed and sunbathed for a bit while children and vicars milled around. Do not envy her list of homework for tonight, though I realise my chemistry knowledge is somewhat lacking.

Sleepy.

666

2009-06-05T11:55:00.002+01:00

Only 6 to go. How time flies!

Well, its dragged mostly and I appologise for my abscence. 4 and a half seasons of top chef have been my only solace. Dont want to write about exams. Dont want to write about being down for the last three weeks. Just going to enjoy my minibreak, might go shopping. Ahh where is the sun today?!

Early lunch time?

Yes.

So long, farewell

2009-05-16T01:06:00.003+01:00

Auf wiedersehn? Cant speel.
End of year 11! Keep thinking of more people Im going to miss (deserters! the lot of them!) and how empty it will feel :(

Last day was... eventful. School part lovely, not enough mound-sitting or group reminiscing (but im soppy like that) actually it couldnt have been better really. Apart from having a gcse at the end- one i couldve easily answered were i not incredibly hyped up by the thought of never having to wear uniform again.

By the end of the day i was a tad queens parked out however, after two emergency service visits (dont ask) and a downpour.

I love all you leavers very much and look forward to meeting your new (male) friends.
Ugh english revision tomorrow. Freedom my arse.

Xxxxxxxxxxx

Carbon Monoxide

2009-05-03T00:42:00.002+01:00

Hate it when people dont invite me to things, and im sure it wasnt a lets not invite x thing, it was just... Pah. wanted to see that movie. BUT had a lovely evening and got to eat which i wouldnt, and a very nice cycle to kilburn, so close! And nice meal with s & k, playing our new favourite rolled up pieces of paper game (degorratory? Perhaps, but fun). Then M and I had a lovely evening, being us. Very tired now but its one of those niggling things so i might not sleep for ages. Tomorrow will be papier macheing hopefully.. wonder when the folks will return from coventry. free yard guys!
No Heroics was discovery of the week; shame it was so short. Electroclash is very good role model surely.

Exams soon... and no more uniform, ever. :(
Not to the uniform obviously. Im not good with change.

Went on facebook to find photo (top) and ended up doing a living social of 5 things near me. this is a problem, and not easily fixed. I rely on fb for way too much, its destroying my ability to communicate with spoken words effectively.

There must be a whore between us or a devil in my head

2009-04-22T22:33:00.005+01:00

New obsession! I have now have plenty of new old music to get me through these dark days.

One two three
She's a real left winger 'cause she been down south
And held peasants in her arms
She said "I could tell you a story that could make you cry"
"What about you?"
I said "Me too"
"I could tell you a story that will make you cry"
And she sighed "Ah"
I said "I wanna be a singer like Lou Reed"
"I like Lou Reed" she said sticking her tongue in my ear
"Let's go, let's sit, let's talk"
"Politics go so good with beer"
"And while we're at it baby, why don't you tell me one of your biggest fears?"
I said "Loosing my penis to a whore with disease"
"Just kidding" I said
"Losing my life to a whore with disease"
She said "Excuse me please?"
I said "Losing my life to a whore with disease"
I said "Please... I'm a humble guy with a healthy desire"
"Don't give me no shit because..."

Morning Sunshine

2009-04-17T14:44:00.002+01:00

There is no sunshine but I am not turning on that crack game until I have finished everything on my to do list. Went to willesden library this morning and realised its usefulness and beaty (too late of course) then had a nice little cycle around the block (wear longer skirt next time).

Have post-it noted all my exams and put them on my window. Very much looking forward to crossing them off as I realised yesterday I am very very nervous. Its not that I don't think I'll do well, I just don't know that Ill do well enough. I seem to have been setting myself up for disapointment whatever happens. Blargh. At least I know my french speaking test questions and even managed a joke when practicing this morning.

It wasn't very funny.

Unnecessary

2009-04-17T01:08:00.003+01:00

I've realised a description of Peggle is slightly unnecessary as the (many many) readers of this blog in fact introduced me to the game. Apart from one. Who was meant to visit tomorrow but *somebody* spent all their money on a dress instead.

:(

My hand is shaking slightly..

Norah Jones + Peggle

2009-04-17T00:56:00.003+01:00

This is ridiculous, I haven't been so hooked on anything since season 2 of greys anatomy (27 episode in two days). My one consolation is that our drama is starting (yes starting, one week before the exam) to look like a play. Apres rehearsal Saoirse and I spent an embarassing amount of time on Peggle, which is essentially a cross between pinball and breakout but very very addictive when played in the wrong context. Like now. Alone, very late.

The good thing is I can listen to music at the same time which is nice and something I can't do with everything. Norah Jones is my saviour at the moment- she makes me so happy.
This blog was a desperate attempt to salvage the last of my creativity before it blows up in sparkly lights and pretty colours. I'd better say something intelligent or creative. Hm. I'll get back to that.

Oh yeah, read my Twitter for a blow by blow account of 27 Dresses (and my waiting for it to arrive). How great is twitter? Am slightly worried exam worry is setting me back a couple of years as far as internet/laptop addictions go. I've barely been off facebookchat, my ipod is getting no rest and I actually fell asleep to a movie (on my laptop not the screen for once). Damn. I should of course be putting it into good use and repeating my french and spanish over and over again. I blame the rain. If its sunny tomorrow I'll spend all day in the park, promise.
There, Kandisky was creative enough for the both of us.

Back to Belle

2009-04-14T21:59:00.002+01:00

Unintentionally, I currently seem to be the embodiment of what the Guardian says is *in* at the moment I realised as I cycled (all the rage- whoda thunk it) in my leather jacket over feminin dress (honestly darling i've been wearing it for months) . My goals in life are truely met. Guardian aside, I have kept up my cycling since Thursday which is longer than I keep at most things, hopefully meaning I will be bike-bound all summer. It makes Gladstone park and all it hills so pretty. Dusk is the best - really felt like i was making progres despite literally going in circles.

Everyone has bad memories. Good memories that the remembering of makes you sad are worse. I love belle and sebastian. The time when you can listen/watch the things you did from the good/bad memories. Thats satisfying. Stable. Its even better knowing its out of secure happiness rather than boredom.

That being said, nothing is particularly stable for long. Just keep up early nights.

On the other hand

2009-04-14T12:12:00.001+01:00

<3
The next one looks terrifying.

Four hours I will never get back

2009-04-13T13:19:00.001+01:00

East is Easter

2009-04-13T00:36:00.003+01:00

Sorry for the title, it has nothing to do with anything.

I've drafted several posts this week and none of them seemed to go anywhere so i gave up. In short, one was about my evening of vaguely disapointing facebook chatting and the other was about revision. All in all the peggle tournament was a welcome break from the aforementioned activities. It was also very nice to be invited and to see the people I've only read the blogs of for a while. Was a bit shy at first but everyone was very welcoming, warm, funny etc and it is a damn good game.

Easter kind of lost its charm a while back when the prospect of "a lot of chocolate" didn't quite seem to be the answer to everything anymore. Although its holiday-like attributes meant i suddenly wanted to be with family (a part of me still feels there not in the same country, some of them arent), which was highly inconvienent and made me miss some exciting matches. Walk back with Sanna and Saoirse was great - not seeing someone for a while builds up a lot of conversation, which became Earl Grey and Ben 10 snap.

What I really wanted to write about was Lewis, but that may have to wait for a second post. *Sigh* Theyre turning into buses.

Guten Nacht

Potential Difference

2009-04-07T20:48:00.003+01:00

Apparently I will do anything to avoid revision. Felt most like revising on the way back from Izzys and expensive pizza lunch, but then I bumped into mihili, had a nice chat about primary school and maths teachers and by the time i got home some of the enthusiasm had given way to total lethargy.

Humanities was fun and reassuring this afternoon, although this makes me feel I probably should've gone to the second physics, far less reassuring and well, physics. Nicest teachers today though which makes the whole holiday school thing a lot more ok.

Tomorrow is twin 6 year olds birthday party in stoke newington. I need to find somewhere distractionless to work in; cafes are expensive (and all money went on afformentioned lunch at 4.30), the library is not particularly appealing and the park is windy cold and full of weirdos/small children.
Oxford library thing was so so pretty. Maybe i should stay with p&i for a few days (maybe i should call them Pi). Kind of fell in love with the place last week. SO peaceful and very very easy journey... Would take some effort though. There probably is somewhere slightly closer to Willesden Green.
Ugh.

Monday one

2009-04-06T15:01:00.002+01:00

5 hours of history mahhhhhhhhhhh.

En mi instituto hay una biblioteca.

Sunday Sunday

2009-04-05T09:51:00.003+01:00

This week has been rather surprising. Wednesday was the infamous maths conference dinner in oxford, where I befriended Emily, maths genius sixth former, who persuaded me to stay till thursday and miss double physics. Of course somehow the recievers of my explanitory text message seemed to read this as "amber is sleeping off her hangover" which is what they told mr kanj. NO! Thursday I learnt a lot more than I would've at school, starting with a tour of Christ Church College (harry potter films) from a fellow and ending with Emily attempting to explain complex numbers and groups on the a-mazing whiteboard tables.

Friday I walzed into school and attempted to articulate my new curiosty and enthusaism for afformentioned subject. Doesn't mean I can do the gsce bits though. Then Graces party. Which was, well, a party. A pretty good one actually, and happy birthday Grace for monday. The best present was Kubas doctor costume in honour of Grace joining us in Greys Anatomy mania.

Now to revise, oh sweet revision, why... why...
Hopefully blogging each days targets will keep my head above water sanity-wise but dont expect to read anything remotely interesting for the next two weeks.
Au revior!

1- Tidy room
2 - Practice Speaking
3 - Some P, C and B

My immune system has a fuckload to answer to.

2009-03-27T20:13:00.002Z

Antoher firday night turns into my attempt to get into The Wire.
Ghoeuhoereuhroeuheouhreouhsorusheousuehrou.

The Mission is really sad. The bits I was awake for.
Apparently Jeremy Irons and Robert Deniro hated each other for the whole shoot.

One One Tree Hill Related Comment

2009-03-25T22:12:00.003Z

you know who else is annoying? Karen. She says "heart" so frickin much!

My public demands

2009-03-25T18:36:00.003Z

that I blog . When I say public, i mean Rebecca (and her brilliant pseudonym :) ). And when i say blog, I mean endlessly moan on about nothing very much.

Firstly, Haley in One Tree Hill is more than annoying. What the hell were they thinking? We should all be like Haley? Oo I'm so perfect and unpopular. Just, fuck off. Also I have just eaten a small box of very very ancient belgium seashells. Who do not improve with age.

Besides finally having the final installment of Season One, I have been working my socks off for one or two days which is good and hugely aided by my all new pen and folder sets. However it is also about as satisfying as rowing frantically upstream away from the edge of a huge waterfall.
Will I learn P7 in time? Drama? Speaking Tests? It's all only a stones throw away. One of those big stones that keeps rolling down the hill.

On friday I saw the Age of Stupid, which is very very good. Go and see it now. I havent quite kicked my torrent habit but its on the decline. My favourite parts were the anti-capitalism for dummies, which really should just be projected everywhere on a loop until the globe finally does give up and implode on itself. Thanks for the fish.
The movie does give you a very strong sense of impending doom and all hundred of us left feeling more than dejected. It really is worth a watch though for the people, real goodies and baddies (and old french mountaineers) - the sign of a successful documentary.
Felt so knackered afterwards that spent the evening revising urbanisation and telling anyone who would listen that we've destroyed the planet and theres, like, no time until I crashed out.

The drama department is the first to fall; all remaining teachers seem to think as the oldest we have to care how stressed out they are. And they tell us in um raised voices at every available opportunity. Just grow up we have stuff to do.

Thats all for now, ill save the rest for a later post.

Surreality

2009-03-16T20:16:00.002Z

So everyone was out enjoying the sunshine yesterday. I spent 15 minutes outside I supose, wishing I had sunglasses sitting on a treestump watching shorts in the farmers market at about 12.
Once I got home however, I conked out in front of The Last One of my Friends marathon and didn't wake up till 19.30.
Which would be the second of two hot days this year i spent in bed.

Saturday was wonderful though; woke up early and tidied (ohmygodyes), then met Paul and Ingrid for very classy luncheon in town. Then sarah and I ploughed our way down Oxford Street, she bought lots of purple clothes and I bought an overpriced lemoade, while we discussed next year.

Mels 40th began with champagne at 8 and melted into sitting around the bonfire with the P girls, Lucy and Nancy (our new best friends) trying to toast marshmallows then throwing them to Bow. Somehow we didnt go to bed till 4.30, and were woken up by paramedics filing into the house.

Today my old(new?) laptop is back in use, I started One Tree Hill and I Hate New Facebook with a Passion.

Amber Loves

2009-03-12T19:24:00.002Z

When things mention Princess Bride :D She also loves boxercise, but is less adept at it than spinning.

They say its Spring

2009-03-08T18:13:00.002Z

Rum + Ring of Fire = Dirty Dancing
Apparently.

Anyhoo, walking home this morning was lovely! Had my organic hot dog in one hand, iced mocha with whipped cream in the other and Sex and the City in my ears. The sun was shining, the sky was blue, and I actually went out of my way to walk beside the park.
Brick lane was cool and I have a lovely silk dress.
However I'm Freeeeeeeezing and feel like shite.

I need a nap

2009-03-02T17:09:00.003Z

Full weekend, first time in ages. But now I must pay the price and overcome the side of me that just wants to watch friends and online window shop while my brain gently dozes, in favour of history, trip sci and maths homework. Oh and review of blood brothers. Which I did not enjoy.

Friday was miles' birthday party. Lots of fun of course - cocktails & lots of cheesy music :D
Then Saturday was the infamous Adeles dance show (tiny, tiny people in tutus and a Beach Ball dance in pink flowery tights. Weapon of Choice dance was really impressive, as was Kubas singing of course), followed by Ring of Fire at Graces.
On Sunday, I didn't get my farmers market hot dog which was a massive disapointment. However, shopping with Grace was lovely and productive. And ice-creamy.

Now of course, work is up and energy is down. Very down.

Bring me sunshine

2009-02-27T19:41:00.002Z

Drama was actually productive. Yes, productive! Well more so than usual, and for the first time I've actaully been pretty confident we can pull off the whole shebang. Break was outside! In the lovely sunshine! Humanities was also pretty productive as I now only have half a short story to finish of Speaking With the Angel. Love these contempory short story books, theyre like little tasters of writers I know I should read. Then watched an excellent concentration camp movie, the counterfitters. As Saoirse and I discussed on the way home, the tone was the best thing about it; you don't feel completely hopeless, yet they show some pretty horrendous stuff. Saw it for the first time on the plane back from Taiwan and was blown away then. Also Ich mag Deutsch zuhören.
Tomorrow there is a cheesecake, dance show and perhaps shopping to look forward to.
Right now I'm off to cocktail party.
Oh things look so much better in the sun.

Once again, I succumb

2009-02-24T20:59:00.004Z

Want to see what your first album cover will look like?

Now go do your own:

1 - Go to "wikipedia." Hit “random... Read More”
or click http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:Random
The first random wikipedia article you get is the name of your band.

2 - Go to "Random quotations"
or click http://www.quotationspage.com/random.php3
The last four or five words of the very last quote of the page is the title of your first album.

3 - Go to flickr and click on “explore the last seven days”
or click http://www.flickr.com/explore/interesting/7days
Third picture, no matter what it is, will be your album cover.

4 - Use photoshop or similar to put it all together.

Yeah yeah yeah you've seen these all week. I like mine, it's thoughtful country/rock.
Oh yes siree bob.
Of course I saw the most beautiful picture of a bicycle in the random Flickr page and then navigated away, not realising this would lose me the picture forever. Sigh.
Did you know there are 967,898 pictures that have something to do with the word "bicycle" on Flickr? Learn something new everyday.

Mmmm pancakes. Maple syrup, lemon and sugar then nutella of course.
The downside is I now feel near to bursting.

Night, Y'all

And burbled as they came

2009-02-23T23:10:00.003Z

Back to school, naturally. Today was full of EXCITMENT. SUSPENCE. EMOTIONS.
It was Miles' BIRTHDAY. I ate some delishious CHEESECAKE. I possibly had a SPACESHIP named after me. I also analysed a TABLOID, ignored a pshe teacher talking about BANDAID or "I've never been on the youtube before."
I'm sorry if this seems somewhat ERRATIC (just earned myself a couple more typo-hits) but I've been reading about GEORGE Best for so LONG I could SCREAM.
Almost nice to be back at school if only for the COMPANY. I've spent SO many days cooped up it felt good to have a reason to leave. WILL definitely feel different when I get HISTORY homework tomorrow. This I am DREADING.

Heres a snipet of what I have to deal with from my Year 1o self.
"If I was looking for a story from which I would not necessarily believe everything but wanted light hearted entertainment I may read a tabloid or magazine however for news I would prefer a broadsheet because I would feel like I was getting more relevent information without the over the top opinions."

She was a cow. Who didn't GET full stops.
Night!

Stolen from Sanna

2009-02-22T20:27:00.004Z

The One-Word Meme

1. Where is your cell phone? Bed
2. Your significant other? Uncast
3. Your hair? Shorter
4. Your mother? Cheesecake
5. Your father? Thinking
6. Your favourite thing? Chat
7. Your dream last night? Surreal
8. Your favorite drink? Elderflower
9. Your dream/goal? Happiness
10. What room you are in? Mine
11. Your hobby? Dramas
12. Your fear? Lonliness
13. Regrets? Maybe
14. Where were you last night? In
16. Muffin? Yes
17. Wish list item? Curlers
18. Where you grew up? Willesden
19. Last thing you did? Planned
20. What are you wearing? Comfy
21. Your TV? Gone
22. Your pets? Neurotic
23. Friends? Loud
24. Your life? Lucky
25. Your mood? Content
26. Missing someone? Yeah
27. Car? Frog
28. Something you’re not wearing? Socks
29. Your favourite store? Waterstones
30. Your favourite color? Purple
33. When is the last time you laughed? Jimmi
34. Last time you cried? Thursday
35. Who will resend this? Unlikely
36. One place that you go to over and over? Castels
37. One person who emails you regularly? Joel
38. My favourite place to eat? Parks
39. Why you participated in this survey? Boredom
40. What are you doing tonight? Reading

So its the awkward gay one from Six Feet Under and he's a nice serial killer

2009-02-17T22:40:00.006Z

Amber likes Dexter.
Amber has spent too long on Twitter.
Amber is hungry.
Amber bought chocolate today, and didn't do much else.
Amber is in the third person.

What! Tara and Sam (true blood) are both in this episode!

Ewwwwwwwwww severed fingers.

Home soon, then I probably won't be able to justify my excessive TVing. Not that that's ever stopped me. I hate punctuation on these kezboards - ' and ? need shift, wtf'*'#+ß
I like hanging out with the nephew. Maybe I just thrive on authority..
'spaters

In Gäüörmany

2009-02-16T18:33:00.005Z

Amber is watching Dexter and wishes she'd brought some more revision. Oh well can't win em all. I'm liking Dexter more and more though. Also I am a Being Human and Buffy convert thanks to newpod. This Vampire thing has got to stop.

Happy late valentines everybody
:)

Amber does lazy blogging

2009-02-11T18:23:00.002Z

From Facebook:

Because everyone else did..

No complaining.

1) I'm a sheep
2) I spent today converting videos and writing about the Middle East. For some reason this didn't feel like a waste of time.
3)I love train journeys because I can read or listen to music and still feel like I'm making progress.
4)Read more. Its good for you.
5)I love my friends. cheesy and predictable, but I don't say it very often. You guys are great.
6)Everything I know I learnt from either Mark Kermode or Sex and the City
7)The internet is killing conversation
8)I'm very very messy, but I love to tidy
9)I'm a girl, I'm a girl
10)Slumdog millionaire is the best film I've seen in ages
11)I haven't been to brighton in a while
12)Sometime before tuesday I will have to revise for triple science. I really, really don't want to
13)I'm enjoying year 11. A lot. Next year will be even better.
14)Let it go, man
15)I dont know what Im doing this summer
16)I like cupcakes
17)On my desk there are two broken laptops, 8 burnt dvd stacks, two history books, a pair of earrings, some birthday cards, a comb, some plasters, a keyring, some chocolate coin wrappers, an ipod, an ipod sock, The presitge and notes on a scandal, a cd writing pen & more
18)My new chair can spin
19)I miss being 7 at christmas
20)Im seeing my niece and nephew next week, I cant wait
21)They're just as nervous as you.
22)Either I tell people too much or I say nothing at all
23)Balsamic vinegar, olive oil, wine vinegar, honey and mustard. Try it with lettuce.
24)I wish I could really play the guitar
25)Nobody's perfect

Happy birthday Izzy! And Lia yesterday :D

J'adore Le Snow

2009-02-03T21:08:00.004Z

What a surreal 4 days.
Gay Paree was, well Paris. One of my better ideas. Totally beautiful and I got to practice french, in the form of a 20 minute questionaire at the pompidou centre. Even the very french resturant pleased Mad (wine) and Rebecca (potatoes).
Snails! Architecture! The Seine!
The Americans asking us where to find a bar, the guy in the mask that jumped out at maddy, the grumpy woman who we kept asking to give us the key, the bloody massive appartment, getting the wrong train, running, change, and the "you dont speak french? get out!" joke we heard every possible variation of.

You know when you get home from a holiday and everything looks slightly different? Like your perspective has shifted? We walked off the plane into snow, real life snow!
Then there was the untouched blanket at 8 in the morning, being thrown out of the golf course after maddy got stuck on the fence, the rap competition, sledging, and very very wet socks.
They were also considerate enough to throw in a day of snowball fight recovery.

Ahh la vie jolie.

I get cussed by Simon Mayo's daughter

2009-01-27T19:45:00.003Z

http://downloads.bbc.co.uk/podcasts/fivelive/kermode/kermode_20090123-1922c.mp3

About 4 minutes in.

The first rule of magic is...

2009-01-24T23:59:00.009Z

My week consisted of Fight Club (the book) and The Prestige (the movie).
Both worth reading and watching but I do feel like I'm in some sort of top-hat wearing nihilistic cult. Saw Slumdog again today hope it gets its Oscars - I might watch them this year.
Yesterday spent *a lot* of time in Pizza Express with a voucher. The poor waitress ended up thinking we worked there.

"You want two pizzas?!"

Also had a discussion with my mother about self-hating women and how "post feminism" could be damaging the possibility of a happy relationship - she says some women go too far to the other side and don't think they should give up anything at all for their partners. Compromise people, remember the song (thank you Saoirse).
She also thinks the anti-Hollywood backlash means we never see nice happy people doing nice things for people in the cinema. Interesting point. On the other hand, my cat seems to like her more.

Obamanator!

2009-01-20T18:21:00.002Z

:D
(Title courtesy of Kuba & Grace)
How good was that?!
Bye bye Bush.

One day only: 2-for-1 on outdated female stereotypes.

2009-01-19T17:57:00.006Z

I cant sleep and I just stepped on a stapler.
The rest of my Sunday can be summarised with the following reviews:

1) How to be completely vile
I bought How to be Single by Liz Something for several reasons. Firstly, I like guilty pleasure books. I happen to think Mates, Dates and Inflatable Bras is a fantastic read. I also bought the thing as a joke; a sort of reward for my purchase of two serious books (serious meaning film tie-ins). alas, the joke is on me.
Also i knew it would be fluff, but naively assumed it would have its heart in the right place, offering digestible nuggets of information in anecdote form as the title promises, so desperately sought after by several people i could mention. How wrong i was. Finally, I blame 3 for 2 offers (If its free its OK!).

My first warning signs came when i read the quotes on the inside cover. Not a mention of wit, satire, or most importantly "tongue in cheek". Uhoh. Also, the first quote was from someone vaguely associated with SATC. Why she hadn't written BLATANT PLAGIARISM JUST RENT SATC DVDS escapes me.

It got worse.

Horrible. Offensive. Rubbish. Guilty pleasure my arse. how to be a subservient, self hating. pre-feminist, reactionary, shallow, vain, misogynistic woman.

Inexplicably, like slowing to watch a car crash, i carried on reading after the line "i would put my husband first, and show him the respect he deserves" 8 pages, 23 swearwords and 14 vomit noises later, I decided enough is enough. letting out a scream, i flung the offending article across the room. No longer will i just books on titles. No, the cover was far more informative. Never again, ten foot sequined barge pole in hand, will i touch that particular shade of pink, those high heels knee and skirt combo - faces? so last season - or those goddamn italics.

Perhaps I have grown up at last. Or perhaps how to be shit is just a terrible, terrible book. I am deeply ashamed to have it in my house, let alone anywhere near my beautiful bookshelf. And i know its my own fault for buying the bloody thing. I'm so so sorry.

Disgusting.

2) Blah Wars
The one redeeming feature of how to be an arsehole was that it made me think of Bride Wars quite fondly, a feat i had previously thought impossible. The one thing I can say in Bride wars' favour is that it is not as bad as Baby Mama; where two unsympathetic stereotyped female characters fight over babies, rather than weddings. On leaving the cinema, I was spared the burning rage that particularly travesty had filled me with and instead felt only a deep, sinking despair and woe. at least Hathers is pretty to look at and she doesn't marry the horrible 1950's man. There were even one or two touching moments (for every 100 wincingly awful ones). No where near as enjoyable as 27 Dresses, but Bride Wars not as offensive as Baby Mama or even how-to-beat-yourself-over-the-head-with-a-wooden-stick.

Also, it was a very nice London outing with Daisy and Molly :). Well done Bride Wars, well done.
Finished Molly Zero today, after staying up stupidly late and reading in every lesson. Now there's a book. More later.

Frozen Peas in a Cup

2009-01-17T13:43:00.006Z

I just went to let my cat in from the garden and on the way back I decided to jump from the mat to the kitchen to avoid getting my tights wet. Unfortunately the kitchen floor was slippery and, as I mentioned, I'm wearing tights (red ones). Ouch. I think the table isn't too dented.
Lucky I was wearing my delightful wrist protector/type-y thing proving RSI is more useful than previously believed.

Yesterday was nice; Saoirse and I happily did, well, nothing for several hours before joining "the boys" for a slice of pizza. This morning was hums catch up which I overslept for and got very little work done. Now I'm eating frozen peas and watching Andy Bernard trying to run over Dwite Shrute.

Last weekend was the gaza march which was great. We left at the first firework, though, and its a shame it got violent at the end.

"Hey. Let me in again: there's a parcel here!"

2009-01-14T20:29:00.004Z

This would be the second (of many, I'm sure), times I have used a Maddy Quote(TM) as a blog title. This one was shouted through my letterbox.
The parcel, as I has suspected, was from the Amazon and contained the highly anticipated latest additions to my reading list.
Dead Before Dawn: A Sookie Stackhouse Mystery - the True Blood book
Speaking with the Angel - another short story one that looks very similar to that last. Yay, I really liked the last one.
Slumdog Millionaire - the characters have different names, but I'm sure it'll be entertaining.

I'm reading Molly Zero (who this blog is names after incidently) which I've finally committed to and am really enjoying. It's hard to find the time though.

Of course if I didnt waste so much time on this I would have finished my drama, so I could read.
But I think I'll watch my mum list who wrote us Christmas cards and listen to the Beatles.

Why not get to know me a bit better?

2009-01-13T18:17:00.001Z

I promised myself that I wouldn't use this as a replacement for myspace *cue tumbleweed* bullitens, but it was a long and boring day and I'm too tired to make a skills cloud.

THREE THINGS I LOVE:
01 | the movies
02 | long phonecalls
03 | talk-y history lessons

THREE THINGS I HATE:
01 | wet look leggings
02 | throwing things away
03 | star wars prequels

THREE THINGS I WANT TO DO BEFORE I DIE:
01 | go to thailand
02 | write a book
03 | learn italian

THREE THINGS I CAN DO:
01 | Argue
02 | Torrent
03 | Cupcakes

THREE THINGS I THINK YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO:
01 | Mark Kermodes film review podcast
02 | Stephen Fry reading Harry Potter
03 | The Specials

THREE THINGS I DON'T THINK YOU SHOULD LISTEN TO EVER:
01 | Jeremy Clarkson
02 | fascists
03 | the high school musical soundtrack

THREE THINGS I SAY THE MOST:
01 | Ridiculous
02 | Its like in greys anatomy/fight club/sex and the city when...
03 | Mark Kermode says...

The rest of this is in comments. It was too long to look pretty.

"BRILLIANT! Better than Pulp Fiction!"

2009-01-12T16:15:00.000Z

Well maybe not my overall favourite movie, which is probably always going to be Some Like it Hot. But it's up there. Slumdog Millionaire is breathtakingly beautiful, uplifting yet harsh and definately the best film I've seen in the cinema for a long time.
The film was extremely emotionally involving with very human characters. Boyle contrasts the fairytale elements of the plot with gritty reality seamlessly while painting a vibrant picture of India. I laughed, I cried and marvelled at how adorable and talented the child actors were.
I think the less you know beforehand the better - so all I'll say is GO AND SEE IT NOW.

Slumdog Millionaire

2009-01-11T22:10:00.000Z

I've just seen new my favourite film.

Twiglet Follw Up

2009-01-10T10:49:00.000Z

My new friend Daisy sent me this:

http://www.cracked.com/article_16878_if-twilight-was-10-time-shorter-100-times-more-honest.html

Its genius.

Two Thousand and Eight

2009-01-10T03:14:00.000Z

Found myself reading several in depth descriptions of last year so I thought I'd do my own.
Here are 10 highlights of 2008 in no particular order:

*Joining Jazz band and going to Taiwan. Most amazing trip ever (despite the hospital trip), nuff said.
*Obtaining a shiny new neice, Lia Clare Segal, on 10th Februrary.
*Spending two weeks in France with Rebecca and Maddy (then replacing them with books).
*Parties where something always went wrong (then parties where nothing went wrong!)
*My 16th Birthday
*Seeing Nouvelle Vague, Long Blondes, Fatboy Slim and Kanye West
*Discovering the film review podcast then watching for the first time: Juno, Fight Club, Pulp Fiction, Dark Knight, Punch Drunk Love, Teeth, Happy go Lucky, Sex and the City, There Will Be Blood, Zoolander, True Blood, Changeling (and many more)
*Making new friends and keeping the old ones (and getting a phone contract)
*FINALLY being a bridesmaid - satisfying my inner 7 year old - at my cousin's wedding(/rave up) in Barcelona.
*Belgium-Brighton-rediscovering my bike-demos-trampolining-christmas-facebook-Billies jukebox-baking-Obama!

There that was about 10.
Happy belated New Year!

Twiglet Review

2009-01-09T23:50:00.000Z

(Sneak preview of article to appear in Scream magazine at some point.)

Twilight Fever
You may not know the details, but besides living under a rock over the last few weeks, it seems there has been no escape from the latest phenomenon to hit the high schools. Yes, Stephenie Meyers teen-vampire-romance cult fiction has broken into England’s mainstream in a big way. The Twilight series follows the relationship of 17 year old human Bella Swan and 100 year old vampire Edward Cullen - the names of whom probably sound to you like old friends if you happen to be a 14 year old girl. The first in the series, Twilight, has recently been made into a motion picture starring Robert Pattinson of Harry Potter fame. I went to find out if it was really worth all the fuss.

I'll start with the good news: Twilight is clearly the least cheesy of the teenage offerings at the moment (High school musical 3 anyone?). Unfortunately, it seems to be trying its hardest to catch up- vampire skin "sparkles" in the sunlight, fangs are a no show and lingering shots of Bella's face make up at least a quarter of the film. Personally, I wasn’t gripped. The plot seemed painfully formulaic and the only interest I had in the actors was just how many of them had been in the OC. I'm all for spicing up old boy meets girl storylines with a touch of the supernatural - but only as long as they are properly spiced up. In this case, the two main characters were extremely bland, which simply does not work when the entire interest is meant to spark from their chemistry.

Maybe I need to read the books. However, from what I hear, the highly suspicious undertones are even clearer when written down. From a feminist point of view, I have serious issues with Bella's decision to renounce her friends and family - and ultimately her life - for someone she has just met. Very 16th century. If Romeo and Juliet were teenage melodramatics, Miss Swan gives takes the phrase to a whole new level. My main problem with her, however, is that she is pathetic. She spends the movie waiting to be rescued and jumping at Edwards every command. Where's Buffy when you need her? All the other women seem only to exist as wives and girlfriends. The one strong female character seemed to be Victoria, who got about 5 seconds screen time. Personally I could've watched the "evil" vampires walk around for an hour and half - at least there was some real eye candy and gritty vampire action.

I've probably been spoilt by HBO's latest TV offering; True Blood. This full on sex, drugs and gore vampire series is twilight with a 15 certificate. Set in the Deep South, it also follows a vampire-human relationship, but is anything but predictable. In the town of Bon Temps, Vampires have just "come out of the coffin," which some of the locals have are struggling to accept. Brimming with cultural references, True blood is the anarchist Van Helsing to Meyers deeply conservative Dracula. This will hopefully hit the UK small screen sometime this year.

Bill and Sookie get a little closer in HBOs hit series.

For the target audience of twilight however, true blood is a couple of years away so they could a lot worse than Meyer’s vampire quartet and a reasonably well made movie to pass the time. Despite my qualms about the suspicious undertones and Mormon politics, it is slightly refreshing to see girls interested in something darker and edgier than the usual - equally sexist- chick lit romances in varying shades of pink cover, even if it's not dark or edgy enough for my taste. Just don't go looking for a role model of any sort.
The verdict: Could twi harder.

Lapsang Su-chong

2009-01-08T18:17:00.000Z

.. is definitely not how that is spelt. Today's been good so far, if a little long. Badminton, Jazz and a nice computery talk on the way home. More Israel debating as well of course. Really looking forward to the march on sat now. Nice to know I'll be doing something however small.
Wrote a twilight (twiglet) review that I'll probably post when I have nothing to say.
Now its time for some lovely poetry ( I dont want to let my English media mark down).
Tchuss!

This may become my languages coursework:

2009-01-07T00:12:00.000Z

(Click on the picture cos it doesn't show the last box)
Night night

Fuck! and other stories.

2009-01-06T20:21:00.000Z

Argh, this hardrive fiasco is really getting to me.
It sounds really petty and superficial and there are far more important things to worry about blahdeblah, but its just such a waste.
Its basically the 21st century equivalent to someone burning down a cupboard with my dvd and cd collections along with all my photo albums over the last 6 years.
Which most people would be slightly pissed off about.

And the worst part is the not knowing whether it'll come back. If I knew it was gone for good I could start again, copy my friends music libraries salvage what photos I have left - but as it is I'm standing back as the firemen pour themselves some coffee while chatting about whether the charred remains are worth going back for. Until I know for sure, I can't seem to avoid trying to break things from the "real world." See? Plates aren't permenant either.
Hmph. I should get out more.

On the other hand, the Foord house is apparently now baking central, since I gave Maddy the cupcake bug. Some very successful brownies today and less washing up for me.

Apparently yesterday was the most stressful day of the year. Its only got to me today - but I have always found Tuesdays harder. Heated Israel-Palestine debate in history (which I can't go into here, there are too many thought trains already), Communism v Capitalism in hums and A Selection of Mr T's Anecdotes to keep us entertained through spanish.

Right, I'm off to listen to heavy metal and break things.. Although all the heavy metal was you know where.
AAAAAARGH

Humans (as opposed to robots used in car manufacture)

2009-01-05T16:23:00.000Z

We discussed human rights today in PSHE; with Mr S who, despite being the spitting image of Peter Pettigrew, actually seemed to have his heart in the right place re The Daily Mail. I'd rather a lesson discussing the death penalty with him than Mr L's crusade for Britishality any day.
Funnily enough, I still haven't finished World of Work. When I couldn't sleep last night I thought it would be a better idea to finish it then and make use of my insomnia rather than staying up tonight but somehow it ended up in me moving files around, eating cereal and writing 2 lines about women. So now I'm knackered and theres still half an essay to finish. At least there are others in the same boat.
Ooo you can add pictures. I really want to see Revolutionary Road.And The Reader. And lot of other releases - I'm glad I've got back into cinema trips. Australia was predictably disapointing (and more offensively, 2 hours too long) which is a shame considering the genius that is Romeo+Juliet.

Hello, Friend

2009-01-04T17:54:00.000Z

So this isn't technically my first blog, which can be found here: http://ambersegal.learnerblogs.org/
and who's nice tree background seems to have been replaced by seaside houses. Well thats deforestation for you.
Anyway, that was for school about 3 years ago (blimey) even though I carried it on for a little while. Now I'm wondering whether I want anyone to read this one - that was specifically for Mr Nash and somehow my parents got hold of it. I'll let saoirse know of course, it would feel dishonest not to, but she might be the only one.
I doubt anyone would be interested anyway.

So! Welcome to the world little bloggerling.
Wow I feel like a proud parent.

Welcome to the world

2009-01-04T15:45:00.000Z

Ahhhhh holy smoke.
World of work time, bye bye.